A Third Missed Flight

Ok the process of traveling to Romania has been frustrating to say the least.  At this point I have PTSD of airports.  Honestly, I start to get a little cold sweat before I walk in the doors of the Newark airport, anticipating that something is going to go wrong.

Covid complications have kept me from flying three times now (even though I’ve always tested negative, ask me about that one if you want).  Two flights to South Africa canceled, one flight to Romania.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated.  I want to get to Romania. I want to do ministry.  The rest of my squad (besides 6 other friends) have already made it to Romania and I feel a little left out if I’m being honest.  I miss my friends, I’m antsy to hop back into ministry, and I’m a little tired of living in a hotel room. 

As I  was sitting in the airport thinking about the craziness, the frustrations, and even the goodness of the past couple of weeks, I started to think about what got me here.  I can trace it back to a single decision.  

One weekend, all the way back in Honduras, I decided to go down the mountain and stay in a hotel room for one night on our off day. That night ended up getting me “exposed” to covid, and that decision triggered a series of events that led me to now.  Sitting in an airport, grieving the loss of a third missed flight. 

If I hadn’t made that single decision I would have ended up with a different part of the squad and I would be in Romania right now.

It’s insane the ripple effect of a single choice.  

Obviously at that moment that I made that decision I had no idea of the ripple effects that would come further down the road.  It’s cool though that I’ve gotten to see the fact that making one decision resulted in two very different paths.

So when I got the news that for a third time I wouldn’t be getting on a flight.  I had a decision to make.  I was mad sure.  I was frustrated yes.  But I had the decision to take it out on the people around me, or to treat them with love.

It occurred to me that just like when I left the mountain that weekend, I had no idea the ripple effects of the decision.  What I do know is that I would much rather a decision result in a ripple effect of love rather than a ripple effect of hate. 

We have little decisions every day to choose to seek the Kingdom and to speak love.  My initial reaction when given hard news it typically not good, but I get to decide how I respond.  

I pray that I always choose the reaction of gratitude, of love, and of calling higher.  I’m grateful for the people back at Adventures in Mission who are FIGHTING for us to get on a plane.  I’m grateful for the CDC workers who are kind and have given us grace.  I’m frustrated that what I want is not happening, but I’m choosing to seek Gods will, to look for the good, and to rest in the fact that His sovereignty is not dependent on me or my circumstances.  

I’m frustrated but I’m ok.  I’m held by the Father and He offers an endless river of peace that is always available for me to step into. 

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” -John 14:27

Thanks Lord for your sovereignty, pray for guidance of those in AIM and the CDC making decisions, pray for opened doors, and pray that the group of us still in New Jersey would have opened eyes to the beauty in front of us.